I’ve been searching for a new job since just before the summer, and it has been a terrible experience to say the least. Applying to a few hundred places in a dry economy only to hear back from a handful is nobody’s idea of fun. I’m not stressing out or anything since I’ve never been a person to experience much worry, and I understand I’ll land something eventually – probably sooner than later – but still, this is slowly killing me.
Like I said, I’m not one to get down, in fact I consider myself a confident, optimistic guy. That means once things improve, and they inevitably will, these past few months which have been the least eventful of my life to date, will be thrust into the past like they never happened.
Does that make the present easier to bear? Doubtful. I’m stuck here with all the time in the world and no money (in fact, after a couple more months my safety net will be gone). But all I can really do at this point is wait.
I’ve heard from a number of different jobs. One was simply something I did not want to do, one I did want but I just wasn’t their choice (something that doesn’t bother me much since I learned how to handle rejection in my experiences with my university’s co-op program), and the others showed me the hardest part of an “adult” job hunt. That is the understanding that I have the power to say no. I’m not saying my expectations are unrealistic, because I am only looking for an entry level role and I’m not being too picky, but I am finding out more about myself and what I want in a career.
I’m learning through my power to choose something that I guess I knew all along. It isn’t commitment issues, in fact, quite the contrary. I learned what true commitment was early in life, through rep sports, work, friendships, etc. When I commit to something, I treat it like a duty. I become morally obligated to show up and try my absolute best, and to break the moral ‘laws’ of the commitment is not an option.
And I’m not necessarily a natural follower, but the thing is, I work best when I am told to do something. That includes if I am suggested to be the leader. In many situations, especially those involving work, if I am not told what to do, I do nothing and divert to my preferred leisure activities which keep me active and busy. So while I am very effective in my commitments, I sometimes need a little nudge to make the choice in the first place.
It’s simple what I have to do. I have to say YES to one of these jobs, then once again I will have income to finance my life. Boy, do I miss it! The worst part is, you have to wait for responses. **sigh**
Well, life could be much worse. I certainly have plenty to be grateful for, after all. Happy I am, and happy I’ll stay.