First look at Innis (short excerpt)

Here is another look at a character of mine. This time we peer over Innis’s shoulder (in the least creepy way possible), an acolyte of the prominent faith embarking on a worldwide pilgrimage with her two closest friends. Innis of Pius; just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it? This is another raw version of my first draft. It is not Chapter 2, even though I posted Chapter 1 not long ago. This is actually a short excerpt of the beginning of Chapter 4. Innis and her companions provide a lot of comic relief to their storyline, and I think they will be very likeable to most readers, and maybe annoying to a few, lol. They are young, informal, believe themselves to be invincible; just as we once were in our own adolescence, but they are on the verge of growing up. Innis is an important character, evident enough in the fact that she is tied for the second most chapters in Book 1 with another POV character (12 out of the 79, each). Only one more character has more with 17. There will be a POV post coming next week for Innis, too. Enjoy!

CHAPTER 4 – Pilgrims

He was looking at her with those hungry eyes. The eyes she had come to know as the eyes every drunken man or boy would use on her. Innis rolled her own at her drunken friend across the cherry-wood table, not caring much at all what he thought of the gesture. He would not make an advance on her, she was never worried about that. They were too good of friends for such nonsense.

Not his fault, he can’t help it. How many cups of ale has he had? You know what? I don’t even want to know, thought Innis with a slight shake of her head. Her other companion, – not drunken Tomas, but the other boy a year older yet far less mature than either of them – Bastian was speaking.

“Wonderful isn’t it?!” he cheered before another strong chug.

“What is?” She had not been paying much attention to what he was rambling on about.

“This first stop on our journey! Leave it to us Polarians to have the most enjoyable Holy Site of them all. I knew what was coming, but I just couldn’t believe my ears when the High Priest looked us up and down; a little longer at you Innis,-” he said that last part with that awaiting grin of his. Idiot. She did her eye-roll again at that, knowing full well that was what he was looking for with the comment. “-and told us, ‘My young acolytes, in order to learn the Leader’s Lesson of Unity, you must go into town tonight, and drink and be merry. Make all the friends you can, and good luck on your future travels.”

Innis laughed at his mocking version of the old High Priest’s voice, then said, “agreed! We may find it hard to top this place on our list.”

Bastian, nodding as he finished another cup, struck it down to the table, swallowed, then shouted out with his hands raised to the ceiling, “I love this place!”

(end of excerpt)

© 2013 FOTS Fantasy


  1. One wonders how far they will get on their pilgrimage when establishments like these feature so early on their travels 😉

    1. Very clever insight. You know, I think you may have something there 😉

  2. Pretty great story dude. Innis is one of those poor mature people who has to suffer having doofus friends all the time. Poor her. At least she hasn’t hit anyone… yet.

    1. Haha, ‘yet’ is the key word. They’re not all that bad, and she loves ’em. Thanks for the comment, it is much appreciated. Glad you liked it.

  3. interesting…what is the book actually about, in the skinniest version?

    1. Roughly put, it’s an epic fantasy in an Ancient Greek/Roman setting. The main premise is two opposing factions who are new to the continent begin war with each other, and the rest of the land, which has been at peace for a long time, is drawn into it. The story is told in separate story lines from the perspectives of very different characters.

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