So, I figured I might as well continue posting this unedited first chapter since it would be too much of a tease to leave just the first part. The suggestions I got for improvement for Part 1 (which is here) were helpful, so here’s some more for my appreciation. There will be a Part 3 to top it all off.
Book 1(untitled): Chapter 1 – Senator
Part 2 (unedited)
Walking up the steps of the Senate, Andro noticed a group of his colleagues engaged in a discussion. They were standing in the shade of a column, off to the side near the entryway. They appeared to be Calamites. He did not need the tiger’s head badge on each of their right shoulders to tell that fact. Their worried faces were proof enough. Calamo was the closest major city to the western borders, and Andro understood their anxiety. It seems we are in for a debate today. I can feel their tension from here! Something must be done though. Yes, it is our duty to do something about these Westerners.
Stepping into the grand, arched entryway with his usual, leisurely pace, Andro walked over to his assigned seat. It was the same seat he had known for over a decade. It was quite comfortable, the cushions were dyed the perfect shade of Solan violet and contrasted beautifully with the white marble of the inner dome chamber.
As was his custom, Andro had arrived at the perfect time. It was not too long before the talking began, though he was far from being the first to arrive. That was the pattern of the younger senators, such as the Calamites outside. Experience told Andro they must have been there for some time. The Calamo representatives were experiencing a high turnover rate of late, and punctuality was a way of making proper first impressions.
Calamo’s citizens must be stressed, indeed, he thought to himself. He had just taken his seat and was now watching the same senators entering that he had seen a few minutes ago. Something was up. He had never seen them, or any senator for that matter, look so grim. He wish he knew their names, but anonymity was an unwritten practise in the Senate, meant to stop discussions from becoming personal. Still, Andro knew the names of many of the other one-hundred and thirty-eight senators, but they were new.
* * *
When all the delegates were seated, Malago, the Senate’s long-time Mediator and neutral voice, began the day’s discussions with his low, rumbling voice.
“I open the floor of the Senate of Sola for discussion on today, the sixteenth day of Mid-Spring in the fifth year of our Royal, Niemo, in the year 497 AC. Senator Gieslo of Calamo has requested to speak first. Do I hear any objections?” Objections were rare, and there none that day. “Senator, you may speak,” Malago said as he courteously gestured toward the Calamite.
The man stood. He must be their new head representative. He seems young to be here, yet all his entourage are younger still. What is happening out west? This morning has been one bad omen after the next. The Calamite was probably in his fifties, as most of his hair still retained its pitch black colour. Andro no longer had any hair left on his head, only the curly white beard from ear to ear, and he did not take reminders of that loss without confrontation.
“Thank you Mediator,” the man named Gieslo said as he walked out onto the white, marbled floor. Before he spoke again, he looked out toward the other senators, peering with this wide green eyes from one end of the half-circle of seated representatives to the other.
“My fellow senators! Kinsmen! I bring word from the west. The Blood-Heads have entered our lands.”
“We have spoken on this already! They have done us no harm. Does Calamo now cringe at every question thrown its way?” The interjecting man was from Sola. His comment brought laughter to all but the men bearing the tiger head on their shoulders. Calamites were known for overreactions to smaller matters, but the comment was not meant as a true insult. Solans were an animated people – foreigners noted the Solan love to yell and laugh at each other. Happy at one moment, offended the next, forever talking.
Blood-Heads. Why does he use that word? We all know what they call themselves. The Aquari. This ignorance can only hurt our hopes of reasoning with them. Wars have started for less than insults, wars in our own lands, no less. Andro shifted in his seat to sit in a more straight-up position. From what he had already seen that day, he found it incredibly hard to believe that it would end in laughter.
(to be continued)
Again, please comment with any constructive feedback you can think of. I’ll post the final part next weekend. I hope my saying “this is as bad as my writing gets” leaves you wanting to continue following along. Also, after tomorrow’s map post there are only two more Map Features remaining, the last of which has informative labels, and there are plenty more Lieutenants and POVs to come (at this point in time, it appears Jastos may be the most popular character).
Have a great week, everyone!
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